Return of the Dark Moose - Episode II

The desert sands were harsh, unforgiving, used routinely as an abrasive by many cleaner manufacturers – and some of it was lodged securely in Amidalooine’s eye. From her survival kit (which usually carried makeup, a flask of preferred alcohol, and plenty of forged credit cards), she took out a bottle of saline. She opened it and put it over the irritated eye, expecting the cool relief of imitated tears – but instead, she got only a blast of air from the nozzle.
“Great!” she said, throwing the saline bottle to the ground. “There’s the last.”
“Me too,” MJM said passively, throwing his to the ground as well. “Maam, we need to head back to base. Without saline, our forces will rapidly lose their visibility. We must replenish, flush these grains from our eyes, and start out again.” As he talked, he blinked profusely.
“Fall back!”
The beleaguered forces began to stumble back in the direction of the PLB clubhouse. Suddenly, the hot, dry air chilled with a gravely laugh.
“Going so soon, my dear friends?”
Ami turned to see a six-foot tall AT-AT standing on a distant dune, its red eyes staring fixedly on Amidalooine. MJM, with what courage he could muster, shook a soda can and stepped forward.
“What do you want?” he asked loudly.
Amidalooine nudged him and whispered, “That’s my line!”
“Sorry!” he replied, keeping his voice down.
“What do you want?” Amidalooine shouted.
The AT-AT tilted its head to one side.
“Your immediate and unconditional surrender,” he said plainly.
“Make me,” Amidalooine growled.
The AT-AT let out a gravelly exhalation, and looked to the sand.
“So sorry to hear you say that.”
At that moment, hundreds of blue-coated soldiers with blue face-paint, shoes, and socks stepped up from behind a dune. In their hands they held gleaming bronzium Yodas. Their grinning teeth contrasted sharply with their facepaint.
Amidalooine gasped.
“What are you?”
“I am your worst nightmare. MODs, attack!”
Amidalooine ignited her lightsaber and charged at the mechanical beast, but the creature benignly strolled behind his men. The soldiers tossed their bronzium Yodas high into the air. MJM’s soda-can-toting boys had no chance. One by one, each was kidnapped by the sudden embrace of unconciousness. Even Amidalooine, though she sliced many a MOD, felt something hard and bronzium send her into the abyss. Before fading, she managed to send one, weak plea through the Force – “help”.

Luuke looked around him in surprise. The desert was smooth, breezeless, and blaring. The very atmosphere seemed to envelope him like a… like a… warm blanket. He walked forward, barely feeling the ground beneath his own feet. Suddenly, he saw her - Amidalooine, standing alone against thousands of… things. Blue things… They were hazy, and indistinct, yet he could feel their menace. He could see many of MJM’s troops lying in the sand, their eyes closed. They appeared to be sleeping. Amidalooine suddenly stopped, and looked straight at him. The gaze was piercing and inescapable. It grabbed Luuke’s very heart and turned it cold.
“Luuke, help me.”
Her voice to seemed to echo for a minute before she screamed and collapsed. A bronzium Yoda had hit her on the head. A trickle of blood ran through her hair and down her forehead. Luuke shouted in anger and fear, and rushed toward her…
Luuke woke up with a start. His body was wet with perspiration. His room felt dark and stuffy. He tossed aside the sheets and rushed out into the hallway. Mina stood against a wall, serenely sipping a beer. She quickly spewed it out in laughter.
“I have to help Ami!” Luuke shouted.
“Please do,” Mina said with a grin. “But do get dressed first.”
Luuke looked down and realized he had little on but a pair of underwear and an undershirt. He jumped back into his bedroom and slammed the door.
“You didn’t have to stare!” he said angrily.
His face flushed as he heard Mina start to laugh.